Marriage Identity

Discover Your New Identity

When Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden, they forgot their premortal identity and entered into a mortal journey of discovery together. They had to learn more about one another. They discovered one another’s fears and weaknesses. They labored together to build a home and raise their children, and they learned how to lift and strengthen one another.

Each of us come from different backgrounds, with traditions and experiences that have influenced and shaped us. Marriage represents a new beginning of discovery together. Discovering a shared identity as a couple does not mean we lose our old identities; instead, it invites us to discover new strengths and interests together and find true joy in helping each other reach our divine potential.

 You can discover and find your new identity together as you follow Christ, deny yourselves of selfish and worldly influences, take up your cross (struggles and burdens), and yoke yourselves to Christ (see Matthew 11:28–30). The following are some ideas that may help you discover your new identity together:

  • List five character traits you love about your companion. Take time to write down your feelings about each one. Find a time you can share them and talk about why they inspire and bless your life.
  • Share three ways being married has helped you see yourself differently. Share any fears you have about losing your identity as you discover your new identity. Compliment your spouse on how he or she has helped you grow and develop in new ways. 
  • Identify one area you would like to improve in your life, and share it with your spouse. Talk about how you can yoke yourselves with Christ in making these improvements. Create a plan together and have fun supporting one another.
  • Identify one or two areas where you want to grow closer together. List small things you can begin to do together to reach your desires. Be prayerful and adjust as you practice and grow together.
  • Pick one of your spouse’s hobbies or interests. Have them share why they love it, and do it together. Find joy in helping each other feel valued and loved.


  • What does it mean to “lose [yourself] for my sake” (Matthew 16:25) in relation to marriage and your spouse?
  • Why is seeing the unique strengths and talents of each other so important in marriage?
  • Are you more excited in your spouse’s happiness than your own?